Two of Seven

JUDITH ANNE NAYLOR
Well, after a hiatus of a few days to deal with cataract surgery, which . by the way, is still a BIG FAT PAIN IN THE EYE, I’m in the mood to spill a few things about our second-born child, Judy-poodie. She was hung with that nickname when she was very little, it outwore itself after a bit, and I don’t think she gained any other significant nom de plumes.
I told before how quickly she arrived during Dr. Laskin’s busy office hours, and he rushed in the door just in the nick of time to deliver her, and plunked her on top of me, (change from the inside environment), yes, but that finger (or thumb, whatever it was) was already in her mouth. And destined to remain there for some years! She was a sweet, pretty baby; 7 lbs. 1 oz.. placid and uncomplaining always. My parents came as soon as they could get there to check her out, and I remember my dad saying she had a "wee, smookey face". I’m pretty sure this was an old Scottish piece of terminology, I don’t know the exact meaning of "smookey". As with all the new babies he performed the coin ritual….let me explain that one to you, the superstition, again old Scottish, was you put a coin in a new baby’s hand and if said babe grasps it tightly and holds onto it, then that’s a sign that baby will grow up "holding on to his or her money"! No doubt Judy put her’s in her mouth; but anyway, she passed the test, I’m happy to report, as according to Scottish mythology it was an important attribute to have (Scots being Scots and why do you think our Scottish terrier dog was named Tightwad Tibbie?).
Living in Linda’s shadow must not have been easy, but Judy managed with great aplomb. The main things I remember about her was (1) how she loved to dress-up. Especially in my dresses, jewelery, and HIGH HEELS…..oh and hats, whatever she could find, I had only a couple of those as they were sorta going out of style at that time, but Judy would get all duded up in as much "grown-up ladies’ stuff" as she could and prance around the house, pretending she was just that, a grown-up lady. She used to say "I know what I’m gonna be when I grow up…a Officer! Work in a office! I already know how to office work…you showed me one day!"
(2) The other main thing about her that I remember was how genuinely funny she was. Of all our kids she was the most comical of all. I used to keep a running list of the funny things our kids said, in the kitchen junk drawer, a little booklet that I would use to jot down those funny sayings before I forgot them. This is such a good idea, my posterity…..you think you’ll never forget some of the things your kids come out with, but believe me, you will forget, and for the few seconds it takes to write it down….hey, just do it! You’ll never regret it.
Here’s some Judisms that I collected:
Judy and Linda used to play "store" at any opportunity, it was one of their favorite games. Judy was into the fruit cupboard and hauling out jars by the dozen. I told her to stop making such a mess, so she announces to Linda "Can’t have any more jars, Linda, store’s closed".
Me: How’s your sore foot, Judy?
Judy: (4) oh, it isn’t very bad now. Its alright when I’m sleeping on it.
Judy: (to me) Mummy, Robbie broke the handle off the chinaman’s cabinet! (Comment: come to think of it, I don’t think that handle ever really got fixed, it was still pretty lame when I sold that self-same cabinet after we sold the house in 2006.)
Judy: (2) Mummy, how come you never read to us no more at the midnight times?
Judy: (2-1/2 and just starting to talk) coming into the kitchen, scraping her feet across the floor, "Look, mummy, my skid my wheels!"
Me: Judy, look how clean Raven licked her plate off (the dog). She’s a better eater than you!
Judy: Well, she’s got a bigger tongue!
Judy: I wish I could wear this blouse to Sunday School with my skirt that I usually never wear.
Judy: (6) I bet you don’t know a word that I don’t know!
Judy: (7) How come peaches have material all over them?
Doug was bawling me out for something….I don’t know what to do with you! He was complaining. Helpful Judy pipes up and says"Why don’t you put her in the oven and cook her?"
Judy: (after running across an old diary of mine) Oh, boy! This is a happen-every-day book!
Judy and Linda were doing dishes. Their dad was scolding Linda for something or other, and Judy was very quick to tell on her "Daddy, Linda’s waving a piece of her lip at you!". Behind his back, of course…..
Judy: (regaling Uncle Tom with the sad tale of our bird’s demise)…Know what happened to our birdie? He had asburn (asthma) and we frowed him in the toilet cause he was died! (I can’t recall the exact details of this tragedy, maybe just as well I can’t).
Judy: (very impressed with some gross TV show)….Mummy, did you ever hang yourself? If you did, you’d get hung too, wouldn’t you?
Judy: (4-1/2) Mum, you know what? When you got ear muffins on, you can’t hear a thing!
Daddy: Linda, if you don’t be quiet, I’m going to stuff a big raw potato in your mouth!
Judy: Daddy, will it be peeled?
Judy: This little boy was playing down the alley, and he was sure a stick-in-the-mud-puddle!
Judy: Mum, is this right? No mans or no ladies what you don’t know, don’t even talk to them? (So much for trying to protect your children.)
Judy: (singing, she did this all the time!) There’s a bluebird on my window sill, eating up my window!
(Judy loved to sing, whether it was popular songs of the day from the radio, or Primary songs or whatever. One of her favorites was "I got my itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny yella polka-dot zucchini"…. (translation: I’ve got an itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny yellow polka-dot bikini).
Judy: (on the way out to the acreage to visit Granma and Grampa Naylor) Oh, look at the big loaf of hay! (passing a farmer’s field).
Suffice it to say, she kept us cracked-up literally all the time. She was simply hilarious. A most enjoyable little girl, how we loved our Judy-poodie!